By Meredith Doench
Christina Consolino is a mother, dreamer, author, editor, and teacher, though the order varies depending on the day. Her work explores the complexities of daily life, the tumult of family dynamics, a human’s capacity for resilience, and the weight of familial and societal expectations. Her latest novel, The Marriage Debt, “examines the hard truths about sex that overbooked women face in their forties, as well as the joys still to come once a woman knows who she is and how to ask for what she wants.”
The Marriage Debt is your third novel. How does it differ from Rewrite the Stars and The Weight We Carry?
CC: All my contemporary fiction features dysfunctional families. The characters in Rewrite the Stars were almost divorced but still lived in the same home; those in The Weight We Carry dealt with the negative consequences of aging parents in denial; and The Marriage Debt’s Nika and Ethan Stewart share their home with Nika’s dad and must address communication issues. My stories all take place in the Midwest; they all incorporate scenes from my own life; they all feature a physical or mental health issue (post-traumatic stress disorder, dementia, and menopause, respectively). But The Marriage Debt differs in multiple ways.
It utilizes a single point of view (Nika’s), it’s mainly told in the present tense, and my reason for writing the novel stems from society’s ill-conceived perspective and understanding of the highlighted issue (menopause). Menopause has been misunderstood, even vilified, by some for years. Even those who have experienced it don’t fully comprehend it. Writing the book helped me better understand “the change,” but more importantly, it helped me find my voice, something I’ve been using quite a lot lately.
The Marriage Debt paints a portrait of a family in chaos, as the main character, Nika Stewart, ushers her family through the thick of it. She’s the lynchpin of everything, the weight of responsibility falling to her. Why did you choose to feature a character like Nika?
CC: Nika represents all the parents, mothers especially, who aim to fulfill the needs of many people in their lives, which, in Nika’s case, includes her two children, husband, father, stepsister, and students, just to name a few. Nika barely has time for herself, much less a moment for reflection on the physical and emotional changes her body exhibits as she wades through perimenopause. My job as an author is to both entertain and educate, and I hope that Nika and the lessons she learns help those who might be experiencing something similar. I also wanted to highlight several ideas: one person in a family cannot shoulder every day-to-day burden, effective communication is paramount to healthy relationships, and sometimes, a person must ask for what they need.
Nika is an elementary school librarian who serves as an ally for LGBTQIA community. Firstly, why that profession, and secondly, how did her ally role come about?
CC: Some of the kindest, smartest, and most generous people I know are librarians, and in fact, the book is dedicated to two librarian friends of mine. When my children were young, I volunteered in their elementary school library, so Nika seems like a natural extension of the glorious hours I spent in that setting. (To date, the library is one of my top five favorite places to spend time). Her character emerged easily, though not fully formed, with some of her characteristics—intelligence, uncertainty, quirkiness, and nurturing nature—appearing rather early. But as the storyline took shape, and she spent more time in the library with her students, it became very clear that Nika had another role besides educator: she would serve as a voice for people who, for whatever reasons, might not be able to speak for themselves. This idea stemmed, in part, from an event that happened at one of our local middle schools, which involved some parental backlash against a visiting gay author. Many of us took a stand, advocating for the visit and the author, and though the news quickly dissipated, the occurrence wormed its way into my head and then bloomed into what happens in the book (no spoilers here!).
Nika’s role as ally is merely a subplot of the book, but as it turns out, it’s a thread I’m most proud of. Nika and I both believe that people are people, that all people deserve the same rights, and that humans should celebrate our differences, not stigmatize them.
The novel explores sexuality through perimenopause and beyond, and Nika chooses to seek professional help in the form of a sex therapist. Sex and sex therapy and the shame and/or embarrassment that might go along with them are discussed with humor and grace. Can you comment?
CC: The whole idea for this book first came to me after multiple conversations with friends, colleagues, and, yes, random strangers about the almost laughable decline in libido we experienced as we approached menopause. Most people echoed the same refrain: If I’m getting into a bed, it’s because I want to sleep. The more I thought about the reason(s) behind that refrain, the more a storyline started to emerge. How could someone with too many responsibilities find time for sex? If someone’s mind is always on something else, why would she even think about sex? And how would a partner react to someone who didn’t want to have sex?
From there, the idea of a sex therapist seemed the most natural choice, and I did some research on what was out there and who might be the best fit for Nika. She is a closed book at times, open at others, and seeking help is hard for her—she doesn’t do so until she feels it’s almost a last resort—but once I got her into the therapist’s office, Nika revealed herself to me: she carries years of shame about her body, sex, and a toxic first marriage on her shoulders. That baggage often overwhelms her and manifests in multiple ways, only one of which is a lack of interest in sex.
Regardless of the weight we carry, everyone deserves empathy, and the only way we truly can be kind to ourselves and love ourselves—something Nika must learn to do—is by learning the skill from others. The therapist helps Nika with that journey—using humor and grace, two of my favorite characteristics—and seeing her is the right path for Nika.
The book also dispels some myths of what sex therapists do. Was this your intent?
CC: I always aim to entertain and educate with my stories, and once I started researching sex therapy, I understood how many myths existed. Those myths usually state some variation of the following: sex therapy is only for people with major sexual issues; sex therapy is only for those who are not compatible with their partner; sex therapy is always awkward and uncomfortable; and so on. I’m not a big believer in absolutes, and to modify anything with “only” makes me wary.
While I didn’t intend to dispel any myths surrounding the profession, I learned a lot about sex therapy with my research, and it’s important to authentically portray something I’m highlighting. The therapist in the story challenges Nika (again, no spoilers!), which is something she truly needs to move forward in her relationship with her husband and with her personal growth.
You provide readers with a snapshot of a partnership—Nika and Ethan work together to solve major issues and support one another—but Ethan doesn’t acknowledge how adjusting his approach to their life, including their sex life, might be beneficial to her. Why not?
CC: Nika is usually steadfast in her belief that she “got it right” with her second marriage to Ethan. I use the term “usually” because she does waver in the beginning of the book when she lets her mind spiral. Now, a spoiler alert: She did get it right. Ethan is a supportive partner and loving and involved stepparent who is devoted to Nika, despite the emotional baggage she carries. In fact, he doesn’t look at that baggage as baggage—it’s just a facet of who Nika is, a facet of the woman he loves.
Part of their secret is open and direct communication, but as the reader (and the characters) find out, Ethan and Nika don’t communicate as well as they think they do. Ethan trusts that Nika will speak to him honestly, but Nika doesn’t always do so. After self-reflection and therapy, she chooses not to condemn Ethan for not reading her mind, and by the end of the book, she’s learned how to adjust her approach.
Ethan does make changes, but his adjustments aren’t as obvious to the reader, mainly because the book is told from Nika’s point of view. But Nika is aware of the strides he’s taken, and she’s immensely grateful.
Nika truly is a part of the sandwich generation—she has two kids at home and her father—the third, moody child?—lives with them. Why did you include multiple generations in the story?
CC: When I began the book, the only characters I planned on writing were Ethan, Nika, and the two children. But early on, well before the first chapter was even finished, I heard a story on morning radio as I drove into work. The announcer asked callers to share their “most memorable Thanksgivings,” and one listener’s story stuck with me. As a college student, she went home to meet her boyfriend’s family, and who showed up to Thanksgiving? Her boyfriend’s grandfather, who happened to be a weed junkie.
At first, the idea of including the grandfather was meant to serve as some levity to the story, but soon I realized he could infuse a layer of conflict for the Stewart family. In addition, his presence allows for an exploration of marijuana use and its consequences and how different generations perceive the use of it. I didn’t go too far into the grandfather’s story or reasoning for the weed use, but he teaches Nika lessons and develops her character, something I think can be said when different generations cohabitate, even without the complication of drug use.
I’m curious about the use of the interstitials, which utilize the script format. How did the structure of the book come about?
CC: Revision is where it’s at for me. When I write, my first drafts are usually pretty easy to get on the page. The drafts that come after—they often vary dramatically. In this case, once I began digging into Nika’s character, things started to change. Sure, she had a tanked libido, partly due to a decline in hormones, but that didn’t explain everything. And her complicated backstory started to reveal itself. Eventually, I thought, I have to give some of this to the reader in order for them to get a better sense of why Nika says and does things and chooses to do things. At the same time, I gave this librarian a project—she directs the elementary school play—and realized, in part thanks to an incredible beta reader, that the script format could tie her project and backstory together.
You’ve chosen to publish with Motina Books Publishing. Why choose this small publisher?
CC: Small publishers have been my publishing vehicle of choice, and I’ve been very pleased with my decision. I met Diane Windsor of Motina Books online, and from the very beginning, something about her approach drew me to her. She’s open, honest, practical, and incredibly supportive. Even when I wasn’t publishing with her, she supported me.
A book like this, one that covers an important topic for women and women’s health, needs to be published by a woman, so Diane was my first choice. She’s a very small publisher, so I queried her very early on and was thrilled when she extended a contract!
What’s next for you?
CC: That remains to be seen right now! I almost always have a story or two bubbling, but I’ve had a very busy four years. Between my contemporary fiction and romance (writing as Keely Stephens), I’ve birthed six books. Honestly, I need to take a break from formal writing, both physically and mentally. Not writing isn’t an option, though, so readers will still be able to find me on my blog (www.christinaconsolino.com).
The Marriage Debt
Christina Consolino
Sex is never just about sex. From the outside, Nika Stewart’s life looks perfect: two loving kids, a fulfilling job as an elementary-school librarian, and a wonderful second marriage to Ethan, her sexy husband. The only problem? She doesn’t want to have sex with him. Maybe it’s the harrowing hot flashes and formidable fatigue, or maybe it’s trying to juggle a weed-junkie dad, an onerous stepsister, and the avalanche of responsibilities that have left sex just another chore to cross off the to-do list. When an honest conversation with her best friend leaves Nika worried her aversion to sex might drive Ethan away, she begrudgingly agrees to see a sex therapist. But as the sessions go on, Nika discovers that talking about sex with a therapist isn’t the same as facing the problem with her husband and that sex with Ethan might not be the only problem after all.
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Article originally Published in the Summer 2025 Issue.