Excerpt: The End By John Crawley

About the Book:


Your final act in life is to ask your estranged brother – your only next of kin – to do one last thing for you – let you die in peace. But he refuses. He can’t fulfill your requests because God and the Catholic Church are standing in the way. He is a priest and his faith and duty to his calling won’t allow it. And you do not share his theology. And he doesn’t approve your lifestyle. After all, you are lesbian and he is God’s pious servant. You haven’t talked in twenty years. And here it is on your deathbed he holds all the power over you. The fight over Death with Dignity comes front and center on the stage of The End.

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Featured in Aug/Sept 2016 Issue: Sixth Anniversary Issue

“Can you describe for me your relationship with Christine?” Asked Carlsberg. 

Lucy made a face, for she thought the question strange at this juncture of the interview but she pushed on. “We are in love. Deep love. Abiding love. She is the most important person in my life. Period. I gain from her happiness and strength and humor and courage and all kinds of things. I trust her and I want to spend every moment I can with her.”…

 “Lucy, if we could bring a doctor or a priest or a medicine man in here who with one touch of his or her hand could save you from your disease, would you do it?” 

“Would I let him or her cure me? Damn straight I would. Who wouldn’t? I have a wonderful life with Christine. I do not want to leave it. But those are not the cards I have been dealt. The deck is stacked against me. I have a losing hand. You bring me a miracle cure in here and I’d take it in a New York second. Done. But you do not have a miracle. Science does not have a miracle. The church does not have a miracle. Not for me. Not in this stage of the cancer. Not now. Got it?” 

“So,” said Fowler, “we can assume you are truly ready to end your life?” 

“I don’t know what the magic phrase is you are looking for. I don’t know where this is headed, but no, I do not want to kill myself if that question is isolated by itself. I would much rather live. I would love to live. But I am not going to live. I have faced that and I am ready to move on. But I would prefer to do it on my timetable rather than cancer’s cruel and painful schedule.” 

The interview ended and the two doctors thanked Lucy for her time…

Lucy…could pin-point a few places inside her that were blooming with a growing, but dull pain. It would be nice to beat this bastard, she thought, Nice to win on my terms. 

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